6 Ways to Use a Vibrator During Sex

As a sex writer, one of the most fun parts of my job is busting myths. It’s true! There’s nothing I love more than showing up to tell people that something they thought was true is false because, usually, when I do that, it means I’m also telling them they have an opportunity to pursue pleasure in a way they didn’t know about. That’s just what I’m planning on doing right now! The myth in question: Vibrators and vibrating toys are only for solo play. 

Sure, when we’re on our own, vibrators can be terrific for helping us reach the orgasmic heights our partner usually helps out with, but that doesn’t mean they are only there for alone time! 

Vibrators can be a fantastic addition to partnered play, and today we’re going to talk a bit about why that is and some ways you can make it happen! So let’s get ready to rumble because it’s time to discuss using a vibrator during sex!

Why should you use a vibrator?

Okay, so we know you can use a vibrator during sex with a partner, but do we know why you should? I know that some people might not understand why you would do it, and others might find the idea of incorporating a vibrator into their partnered sex life intimidating. So let’s talk about why it’s a good idea!

First, let’s get this out of the way: I know some partners might reject the idea of using a vibrator in bed for any number of reasons. As we’ve already discussed, some folks see vibrators strictly as substitutes for sexual partners, and thus, if a partner is present, they think there’s no reason to use one. Additionally, some partners might see the suggestion to add a toy as a negative comment about their sexual prowess, as if wanting to add a toy automatically means their partner is not satisfied with the experience they have together. Well, the good news here is that the reasons it’s a good idea to use a vibrator together also dispel these misbeliefs!

The main reason to use a vibrator during partnered sex is that it’s fun! Sex is playtime for adults, so why not explore every way to make it as fun as possible? 

Let’s be real; for folks with vulvas, vibration can make achieving orgasm easier. Research has shown that penetration alone is insufficient for many assigned female at birth (AFAB) folks to orgasm; many require clitoral stimulation. Enter our friend, the vibrator! 

Odds are you haven’t experienced ALL the possible pleasure in the world, right? So why not see what new experiences await you?!

The upshot here is a vibrator isn’t here to replace or insult anyone! It’s just a tool that can make things feel good for everyone. Now that we’ve covered that, let’s go over some fun ways you can use a vibrator together.

How to use a vibrator during sex

There are many fun ways to incorporate a vibrator into your sex play. These are some of my favorite suggestions to get you started! 

Take oral to the next level

Remember, sex isn’t just intercourse! Oral sex can also benefit from the addition of a vibrator. Whether it’s mixing up sensations by switching back and forth between using your mouth and using the vibrator or adding vibration to the action by holding a vibrator against your cheek while performing fellatio or inserting a vibrator into your partner’s vagina during cunnilingus, there are plenty of ways that adding a toy can make oral sex and even sexier experience.  

Explore the whole body

Sex also isn’t just about genitals! Using a vibrator can be about creating a full-body sensual experience. Try running the toy all over each other’s bodies and find the spots that feel good. You might be surprised!

Make good positions even better

One of the most popular ways to use a vibrator during partnered sex is to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse, and honestly, it’s famous for a reason! If there’s a position you like, see what adding some clitoral vibration does. This is especially true for rear entry positions because there is less naturally occurring friction to stimulate the clitoris, and there is generally more room to access outer sweet spots with a vibrator. 

Give them the power

Do you know what can be really hot? Handing a vibrator over to your partner and giving them control of your stimulation (or vice versa). The partner in control gets the rush of being the Great and Mighty Bringer of Pleasure while the partner on the receiving end gets to enjoy the ride. Everybody wins!

Harder! Softer! Faster! Slower! 

Many vibrators come with a whole bunch of settings. Different speeds, vibration patterns, intensities, and ways to mix and match can exist. A lot of times, when you are playing on your own, you tend to stick to your favorites, but when you’re playing with a partner, it’s a fabulous time to explore all the options. Turn it up, turn it down, start gentle, and then ramp up the intensity; see if either of you likes one of those settings where it vibrates in Morse code– you have so many options, have fun with it!

Keep the surprises, um, coming?

While we’re talking about having fun with it, collaborative play is fantastic, but you know what else can be fun? Taking your partner by surprise! We spoke earlier about handing the control over to one partner, and a fun way to take that idea to a whole new level is to blindfold the partner being stimulated. When they don’t know what’s coming next and where it will happen, each new sensation is a surprise, and everything is much more exciting. 

So there you have it, folks, six ways to incorporate a vibrator into your partnered sex play. And those are just the beginning! Together, you can explore all sorts of ways a toy can make your already-enjoyable experience even better!

Are you interested in exploring sex toys for couples? No matter what you need, PinkCherry has you covered. Take a look at our huge vibrator sex toy selection; you are bound to find something you love!