Cheating is a complex issue, and the reasons why people in committed relationships do it are varied and often difficult to discuss. In fact, many people who cheat on their partner aren’t entirely sure of the reasons, often creating weak rationalizations even in their own minds.
The fact is that people cheat, even when they’re in love. If you want to keep your relationship together though, understanding more about people’s general motivations may be able to help you.
Whether your relationship is on the rocks, or you just want to stay on smooth seas, this guide should help you understand more about cheating. Answering the age old question of why people cheat may not be entirely possible, but shedding some light on the subject certainly is.
A Little Too Much Love
It might sound counter-intuitive that a lot of people cheat because they’re too close to their partner. However, basic human psychology will tell you that in some relationships, it becomes easy for one partner to feel like they’re being smothered or controlled by a loving individual, even if it’s not the kind of negative control that some might think of when they hear the word “control.”
Simply spending 12 hours a day with a partner and doing things like eating all of your meals together can be enough for some people to feel a bit trapped. When that happens, many people look outside their relationship to find themselves again and feel like they have value outside of their regular duo.
This is actually one of the most common reasons many women cite as a reason for cheating sex or looking outside the relationship for it. It may not be the only answer to the question why do women cheat, but it seems to be a very common one for women in long-term relationships.
Lack of Engagement
On the other side of the coin, many people turn to cheating because they feel like their partner is no longer fully engaged in their relationship. From feeling like your partner doesn’t want to hear about your difficult day, to never initiating sexual activity, lack of engagement is a common reason people stray.
Usually, this kind of cheating takes place in long-term relationships where a couple has been together for many years. In some cases, the partner who isn’t engaging might simply be too wrapped up in their own affairs to notice the other feels alienated and lonely.
When this happens, cheating can occur not because the person isn’t in love, but because they’re not feeling the love they want to feel from their significant other.
Different than a general lack of engagement with a partner, people who cheat out of boredom often do so because they simply feel like they’re stuck in a rut. Perhaps even their sex life is one that never changes or completely lacks spontaneity.
When you’re with a new partner, everything obviously seems new and fresh. You can’t repeat the same old patterns simply because you haven’t developed a pattern yet. It might seem crass, but many people who end up cheating do so after they’ve tried to spice up their love lives and failed because their partner wasn’t willing to meet them halfway.
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