Sometimes, when we talk about sex, we gloss over the actual nuts and bolts “how to” stuff. With that in mind, today we are going to talk about the basic motion that causes the “in and out” sensation we associate with sexual intercourse, thrusting (did you know that you can get thrusting sex toys to replicate the thrusting experience during solo play?). We’ll answer some questions, talk about specific techniques, and see why “in and out” is only one piece of the thrusting puzzle.
How Do You Thrust A Woman?
As a sex educator, you receive lots of questions like this one. Questions that assume you will be able to give the one true answer as to how any sexual act should be done to every single person of a specific gender.
There is no one answer, regardless of the gender of the person on the receiving end of the thrusting. You really need to be communicative. Talk to each other. Try different motions, directions, speeds, intensities, etc. That may sound overwhelming but I’m going to invite you to instead think of it as a fun exploration process.
How Long Should Thrusting Last?
So, this is another one where the answer is pretty much, as long as you are both into it. If you are going for a quickie then thrusting might not happen for very long at all but if you are luxuriating in a slow sensual lovemaking session, then there might be quite a lot of thrusting spread out over a longer period of time.
Additionally, it’s important to remember that everyone needs to be comfortable. For the partner on the receiving end, they might start getting sore or uncomfortable if the thrusting is too hard or awkwardly angled, as well as if there is not enough lubrication present. For the partner doing the thrusting, it might get to be too much after a while because, frankly, thrusting can be a bit of a workout. No matter what your sexual goals are, comfort (or discomfort as it were) might end up being the thing that
Thrusting Techniques To Last Longer In Bed
Now, while there is no “right” amount of time for thrusting to last, I know a lot of folks out there who want to last longer in bed. Whether it’s borne from a desire to please your partner or if it’s just because sex feels really good and you want it to keep going, the desire to last longer is pretty common and something you can work on by playing with your thrusting technique.
When it comes to making sure you don’t climax too soon, there are three parts of your thrusting that you want to think about: depth, speed, and intensity. Playing with these three factors can help you make your sexy time less of a spring and more of a marathon. Let’s take a look at each of these different thrusting techniques as well as factors individually and see how adjusting them can help you last and last.
Shallow vs Deep Thrusting
If you’ve ever heard someone reference going “balls deep”, odds are you think that deep penetrating sexual positions are absolutely where it’s at… and it can be but if you want a longer, sexier, more satisfying experience for everyone involved, consider varying your thrusting depth and spending some time focused on the shallow thrusts.
Shallow thrusts can feel amazing for folks on the receiving end as well as for the actual thruster and it can definitely help you last longer. There’s even a technique on how to thrust on top or any position that you can try to mix up your thrusting game and deliver maximum pleasure all around:
Shallow Thrusting Technique
Use this pattern to vary your thrusting depth:
- 9 shallow thrusts — 1 deep thrust
- 8 shallow thrusts — 2 deep thrusts
- 7 shallow thrusts — 3 deep thrusts
- 6 shallow thrusts — 4 deep thrusts
- 5 shallow thrusts — 5 deep thrusts
- 4 shallow thrusts — 6 deep thrusts
- 3 shallow thrusts — 7 deep thrusts
- 2 shallow thrusts — 8 deep thrusts
- 1 shallow thrusts — 9 deep thrusts
Slow vs Fast Thrusting
Have you ever heard someone complain about “jackrabbit” or “jackhammer” sex? They are talking about sex that exclusively involves relentless hard and fast thrusting. This type of sex is at best boring and at worst painful. Plus, it can bring the thruster to orgasm fairly quickly. There is a time and place for faster thrusting but mix it up with the right sex positions, a slower technique for maximum sexual pleasure.
Slow Thrusting Technique
As the name implies, this thrust manipulation technique encourages you to take it slow. Here’s how it works:
- Enter your partner very slowly with just the head of the penis.
- Pull out
- Enter them again a little bit faster and a little bit deeper
- Pull out
Repeat these steps allowing yourself to gradually build speed and depth. It should take a few minutes to completely penetrate your partner and the anticipation will make the experience even more sensation-packed for both of you.
Hard vs Gentle Thrusting
You probably noticed that the section above referenced thrusting intensity as well as speed when discussing “jackhammer” sex and that’s with good reason. Some folks take the motto “go hard or go home” too far when it comes to sex. Again, relentless hard thrusting can be uncomfortable and definitely doesn’t provide much sexual pleasure, especially for the receiving partner. Plus, it isn’t where it’s at if you are trying to last longer in bed. So, for better sex, why not try something a bit gentler?
Gentle Thrusting Technique
This one doesn’t even come with a list of steps because it is so simple: Enter your partner fully and then instead of focusing on an in and out motion, take turns trying some grinding or rocking motions. Go slow, breathe deep, and enjoy!