Conversations around sex, fantasies, and consent have really opened up over the last few years. Embracing what you like between the sheets is celebrated rather than shamed. And half the fun of an intimate encounter is telling your friends about it afterward.
However, female pleasure is still a bit of a taboo subject. When it comes to matters of sex everyone deserves to have a good time. Sometimes it can feel a lot easier to fake an orgasm and finish quickly rather than say anything. It can be difficult to tell a partner you’re not having a good time in bed. There are, however, ways to put your pleasure first and get to know yourself.
Sexual wellness is such a buzzword right now. And yet, we know being in touch with your sexual self and learning to vocalize what you want leads to a happier and more fulfilled sex life. You don’t have to throw yourself in the deep end and fully invest in a bondage kit if you’ve never tried BDSM. Get to know your body and become comfortable talking to your partner about your needs. It ultimately leads to more fun in the bedroom. So, here are five ways to put your sexual pleasure first.
Explore Your Body
It can be incredibly frustrating when you’re with a partner that just can’t seem to hit your buttons. But you can’t expect them to know where they are if you’re not sure either. Taking time out to get to know your own body will make you feel infinitely more confident with a partner.
It can be daunting at first but if you have a vulva, don’t be scared to use a mirror to really look at your body. Get a closer look at the parts that feel good, and see what your partner might see. No two bodies are the same and you should be proud of the one you have. Being able to guide a partner physically when you’re in an intimate situation isn’t only super confident and sexy, it ensures you have the most pleasurable experience.
So often when you know someone is going to see you naked, then you make a special effort to look nice. You may wear your extra special underwear, light a candle, and pull out some accessories. However, there’s nothing to say you can’t do this when you’re alone too.
By getting into the habit of putting your pleasure first when you’re alone, it’ll become second nature when you’re with someone else. You don’t have to do it every time. But if you have a spare evening, run a bath, light a candle, and invest in some sex toys that really work for you. This will help you really figure out what feels good.
Do Your Research
Talking to friends can be one of the best resources for sex advice. However, there’s so much out there right now that will not only educate you on different positions and kinks but also give you advice on how to approach them with a partner. Sex is like any other activity; the more you know the more comfortable you’ll be and knowledge is power.
There are books dedicated to both the physical acts of sex and how it can make you feel. Empowering yourself and building on the foundations that you deserve pleasure will lead to better encounters in the bedroom.
Talk About What You Like Outside the Bedroom
The moment just before you get intimate with someone is definitely heated. However, you’re both also at your most vulnerable. If you don’t feel like you can bring up something new you’d like to try then that’s totally understandable. Instead create a safe space outside the bedroom where you can both talk about new positions, sex toys, and fantasies.
There’s something incredibly sexy about talking about what you want to do to your partner but not being able to do it there and then. It also gives them the time to think about it and tell you if they’re not totally on board with it. Open communication and boundaries are the perfect recipes for really great sex.
Explore Your Fantasies
Once you work out what you like and speak to a partner about it the only thing left to do is actually get down to exploring your fantasies. It’s totally fine to realize you’re not as into a kink or fantasy you thought you would be in real life. But you can dip your toe in by starting slowly and working your way up to bigger things.
By educating yourself, getting to know what feels good, and investing in a few sex toys along the way, you’ll start to feel more empowered and put your pleasure first.
How do you prioritize your sex life? Comment and let us know!