How to Give a Prostate Massage

Are you curious about prostate massage for yourself or with a partner, but you’re not quite sure where to begin? Any form of anal play can be intimidating, especially when you’re new to it. Before you talk yourself out of trying something that sounds sexy and exciting to you, make sure you know where to begin and how to enjoy prostate massage. While fun, giant prostate massagers aren’t required.

Here’s what you need to know.

What is a Prostate Massage?

Let’s begin with the obvious question. What exactly is a prostate massage? The first thing to know is that it’s more than sticking your finger or a vibrator up your butt. Prostate massage isn’t much different from stimulating the g-spot. You or your partner finds your prostate and stimulates it in whatever way feels best to you. This might be a tap-tap-tap motion, firm or light strokes, or the vibrations from a prostate massager.

Getting Ready: Giving a Prostate Massage

If you’re the one giving the prostate massage — to yourself or your partner — there are a few things you need to do. First, wash your hands with soap and water. You don’t want to use dirty hands for this as you might introduce bacteria that isn’t supposed to be there. Next trim your nails and remove any jewelry. Sharp, jagged, and even long nails can injure an anus which is a much more sensitive part of the body than you may realize.

You may also want to cover your finger with a condom, plastic glove, or a finger condom. Some people do this to prevent the spread of bacteria and infection, especially if there’s a chance there’s a cut or scrape on their finger. Others wear it to keep their hands clean. Make sure neither of you has a latex allergy and look for non-latex options if you need them. This level of protection isn’t always a requirement, but it’s something to keep in mind as an option.

Getting Ready: Receiving a Prostate Massage

Being on the receiving end of a prostate massage requires a bit of preparation, too. Make sure your bladder and bowels are empty. If you’ve got the urge to go to the bathroom, go before sticking anything up your butt. Poop happens because it’s the butt, but there’s no need for it to be a lot.

You may also want to clean out your anus and rectum before you play. How much you clean your booty is up to you and your partner. Some people take a quick shower and wipe up back there. Others use an enema or anal douche to get squeaky clean. But some level of cleanliness is typical and is just good manners.

Grab Some Lube

The anus and rectum do not self-lubricate like the vagina, and you won’t see pre-ejaculate back there like you do with your penis. All forms of anal play require some kind of lube, the thicker the better. If you add a prostate massager into your play, the type of lube you use will be determined by the material of your sex toy. Coat your anus in lube and the finger or toy that’s going in. A good rule is to always apply more than you think you need. You’ll also need to keep adding more as you play.

Find Your P-Spot

In order to give or receive a prostate massage, it’s important to know where the p-spot is located. Lube up a finger and the anus in question, and slowly and gently insert it into the bum. Like the g-spot, the p-spot can be found on the front or anterior wall of the pelvis. And like the g-spot, it’s a raised, bumpy spot about the size of a walnut that doesn’t feel the same as the surrounding area. You’ll know you’ve found it by the reaction you get when you begin to stimulate it.

Choose What You’ll Use

Prostate massage can be done with a finger, a manual sex toy (meaning it has no batteries) or a vibrating prostate massager. The choice is yours and based on preferences and access. When you’re first starting out, use a finger or a very small toy. As you become more comfortable with anal penetration, feel free to try larger or thicker massagers and other anal toys. The more you experiment with what you use, the more sensations you’ll experience and find what feels best to you.


Prostate massage doesn’t have to be intimidating. With a little preparation and the right tools, you can have an amazing time. Prostate massage is known to create stronger, more explosive orgasms, and many people report the ability to have multiple orgasms. You or your partner probably won’t ejaculate more than once, but you’ll still get the sensations and other physical reactions of an intense climax. Now that you know how, start experimenting with this intense form of pleasure.

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Infographic for How to Give a Prostate Massage

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