There’s a good chance that when you pull out your favorite sex toy to get yourself off, you’re not exactly thinking, “Ah, this is great for my self-care.” It’s a better than likely chance that you’re thinking about the orgasm you want, how good you’re about to feel, or how this will help you forget the bad day you just had.
Good news! That’s all part of taking care of yourself. Still not convinced? Here’s how sex toys can be a part of your self-care.
What is Self Care?
It’s a term that gets thrown around a lot, but what does self-care mean? In the simplest terms, self-care is what you do to take care of yourself. What that looks like will be different for everyone. Some people want bubble baths or time to meditate. Others curl up on the sofa to binge their favorite show on Netflix or read a good book. Self-care also includes setting boundaries and removing toxic people from your life. And yes, sex, masturbation, orgasms, pleasure, and sex toys can all play a role in self-care, too.
Recognize Your Needs
The first step to taking care of yourself is realizing what you want and need to feel good. When you decide that you’re going to pull out a favorite vibrator, dildo, or penis ring, you’re actively recognizing your needs in that moment. Yes, a hand or other body part could get the job done, but maybe not as well or in the way you really want it to. If this seems self-indulgent, it is, and that’s okay.
Many activities that fall under the self-care umbrella focus on individual pleasure — the pleasure of laughter, of relaxation, of doing something fun after a stressful time. Sex toys provide pure pleasure, and it’s something you control completely. When your idea of self-care includes making yourself feel really good, a sex toy may be the perfect tool for the job.
When we take care of ourselves, we keep ourselves healthy — or improve our health in some way. Masturbation and sex have their own health benefits — reduced stress, clarity of mind, help to fall asleep. Your favorite sex toy can help you masturbate and have better sex with a partner which then provides all the benefits you want, even if you don’t orgasm. If anyone ever asks, feel free to tell them your sex toy is medicinal.
Self Discovery and Focus
Many other forms of self-care, like meditation or yoga, center around spending time with yourself and focusing inward. Sex toys may use a different method, but the outcome is the same. When you turn on a vibrator or insert a butt plug, you’re discovering what feels good, makes your body come alive, and gets you off. You’re also centering your pleasure and experience solely on yourself. That’s almost never a bad thing.
While not everyone feels empowered and emboldened by their self-care, it is a nice side effect for many people. Telling an annoying creeper to go away or refusing to let a family member violate your personal space — these are boundaries you set that may make you feel empowered. They give you control over yourself or a specific situation.
For people who don’t yet feel comfortable with their own sexual pleasure or how their body works, a sex toy can offer a similar feeling. When you find exactly what turns you on and gets you off, you may feel supercharged and in control of your sexual pleasure. That’s empowering AF.
Sexual Wellness is Self Care
A lot of things encompass sexual wellness, not just using a sex toy or experiencing more sexual pleasure. But to begin thinking about your sexual wellness, sex toys aren’t a bad place to start. Understanding how your body works and what makes you feel good helps you stay in tune with your needs. Knowing what you enjoy makes it easier to communicate that with a partner, so you have better sex. Masturbation, with or without sex toys, reduces stress and improves your mood. All of these things are good for you and can be part of both your sexual wellness and your self-care routine.
Self-care doesn’t have to be soft lighting, meditation, or bubble baths. It can also be loud vibrators, thick dildos, massive anal toys, and anything else that gets you off and makes your body feel alive with sexual pleasure. When you’ve had a hard day or week, grab a favorite adult toy without shame and take care of yourself, in as many ways as you want.
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