Welcome to your one-stop shop when you want to sex YOU up with or without others to join in on sexy joys with toys.
We recognize that the trans sex toy shopping experience can be a challenge. Full stop. And, it can be even more anxiety-inducing for folks with dysphoria.When you’re shopping for adult sex toys, it’s important that you feel comfortable, and that you’re able to find toys that know how you tick.
We’re all more than the sum of our parts, and regardless of your (or your partner’s) body, and your relationship with it, please know that no one sex toy will work the same way for everyone. Sometimes, though, the journey to orgasm and finding out what makes it happen is – at least – half the fun. So, whether you’re pre-op, post-op, taking hormones, or not, we hope that you’ll find something here that will leave you asking for more of your extra time and your kiss, or theirs.
Let’s start this off right: with two caveats. First: I am a cisgender, queer woman, and I’ve done the research, have an active imagination, and a love of sex toys. Second: historically, the sex toy industry has used (and still sometimes uses) binary and cisgender language. Some brands have seen the light, but until all do, let’s not let wording stop us from using these delicious erotic inventions to our advantage, shall we?
Let’s also take a moment to talk about MTF sex with sexologist and trans woman Shoshana Rosenberg. Rosenberg’s first hormone therapy consult shone a negative light on sex post-therapy, because it was known to cause erectile dysfunction. Then, Rosenberg said, “screw that,” and took an academic perspective. She discovered that orgasms for a transgender woman could evolve “from short and urgent climaxes to elongated and deeper ones”. Did someone say longer lasting orgasms? That’s right. Step right up to the wonderful world of multi-dimensional orgasmic play. Many trans women find new erogenous zones, including necks, thighs, backs, and arms. “One person described being able to climax from nipple contact alone.”
Imagine that. Or, make it happen with Pink Cherry’s recommendations for trans-affirming, self-love toys to make you and your partner(s) feel sexy and seen.
Let’s get ready to rumble
There are sex toys so effective that they didn’t even know they were sex toys, and they’ve been satisfying customers since the 1960s. Let’s review a little sex toy history here and pay our respects to the Wand, the massager, the call-it-what-you-will just come and get your fill. Fun fact, the Original Magic Wand vibrator is considered an icon of female sexual liberation. And, it’s still going strong for today’s gender-affirming trans femmes, too, according to sex educator Lisa Finn.
So, why, oh why do you want a pleasure piece from the sex toy hall of fame, you ask. Lower frequency, more rumbly vibrations can do the trick for some non-op trans women whose nerves are spread out over a larger area, according to New York-based sex educator, Octavia Leona Kohner. The extra added bonus of this kind of joy-bringing toy is that it truly does not look the part for folks who might be experiencing gender dysphoria. Wands come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and many are made with high-grade silicone for body safety and easy cleaning. Plus, you can do a little 1960’s role-playing with your playmate(s) or all by yourself and pretend you’re taking part in your very own sexual revolution. Because in some ways, you are, right?
You can vibe your own way
Whether you’re looking to vibe with yourself or another, you will find something to suit any occasion here. Our collection of Bullet Vibrators and Eggs offer small-scale vibrators shaped like titillating tongues — yum yum — or classic rounded eggs that’ll target a plethora of pleasure centers.
The beauty of a bullet vibrator is that it offers a chance to step away from your genitals if you are experiencing gender dysphoria. The sexperts recommend placing a sheet or towel over yourself and exploring the effect of vibration and stimulation of your newfound (or favorite) sensitive areas. Since your mind is your biggest sex organ, we recommend you explore all the shapes and sizes, and combinations. For example, a combo pack that includes a vibrating cock ring or maybe a discreet finger vibe may offer you all the right tools for toe-curling experimentation and some sexual healing.
Here’s something we can all get behind
The best part of parting your cheeks is that the butt is a love instrument anyone can play. Kohner says that if you have genital dysphoria, you should try to get comfortable with some “butt stuff.”
Don’t just dive in, though; anal training is extra important if you or your partner is new to anal play and penetration. You’ll need to understand what you’re working with anatomically, how to prepare, and some tips for relaxing into things for full penetrative anal sex. Remember, if you’re new to this, you’ll want to make sure you and your partner(s) communicate non-stop, so you can both learn together. They say shared interests bring you closer together, so why not make that all about a little bump for your rump.
Before long, you’ll be wandering into the wonderful world of anal beads and butt plugs (which are also one of the best sex toys for men and people with penises) that do everything from vibrate, contain rolling weights, and help you mutate into a mythical horned beast (or rainbow unicorn, if you like to play dress-up, Giddy up!).
You like what you’ve got, and stroke it a lot
Not all pulse strokers are created equal, and the first you’ll see here is the “Guybrator.” No, I’m not joking. Before you click away or skip on by, remember: That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And, oh how sweet it is to be loved by yourself, or with someone fun while using this oscillating ‘PulsePlate’ to target hot spots, which can be used while being held in place or while stroking with the toy. As an added bonus, the Guybrator vibrates on the outside as well as the inside, so it can provide external stimulation if someone wants to sit on the toy solo or while being used on someone else’s shaft.
Then, there are strokers built like all the parts of the body we all like most — juicy lips (those up top and down below), or for a little rump a pump. Many are made with anatomical accuracy from lifelike materials, and feature tips of tongues, and even teeth if you like your little joy mixed with a little pleasurable pain. Dual pussy and ass strokers offer you options for whichever end suits your mood. Some even come complete with lifelike tissues made to feel like the muscular movements that fly you to or into the moon.
This is pound control to major labia
Penetration control for a post-operative transgender woman is key to avoiding the painful sensation of “hitting a wall” with a partner. Let’s talk dilators with some creative assists to help you and your partner find that sweet groove.
Some dilator sets start as small as a pinky finger and gently swell with your ability to open yourself to some pleasurable new-nani play. Some companies have taken the extra step of including helpful, instructive videos to increase your body and mental awareness around how your neo-vagina accepts insertion.
Amy Stein, a physical therapist, specializing in pelvic floor issues, explained to Cosmo that when it comes to gender affirmation surgery, there’s always a risk of complications. “It’s not a perfect science, so because of that, the opening or the length of the opening is not always what they want it to be for their partners.”
Dilators like these should not replace the ones your doctor provided, but they can be used as supplementary when you’re ready to start playing instead of doing neo-vag-gymnastics. Some dilators include a handy ring on the end where you can fit a vibe to make your exercise more of a fun ride. Give yourself the gift of a ring-base for easy insertion and slip-control, too.
While you’re at it, trust the sexperts, and try some cock rings on your dilator to play with the depth of insertion while you’re getting to know your pretty new puss. Bonus: cock rings keep a horned–up shaft ready to last, making them just the thing for a trans woman who enjoys penetrative sex.
Incorporating cock rings into your dilator play can help you prepare for penetration, and they can also help your partner understand how your neo-vag works. Communicate with your playmate(s), and always do your warmup first. You just might find that it’s not such a stretch to get your freak on.
Chills are multiplying
We want you to have control, SO MANY CONTROLS. There is a horn-ucopia of versatile vibrators with so many controls and functions, we know you’ll find more ways to play with them than those that may be listed on the box.
Some particularly popular models come with options for flexible fun with vibes on two ends and one on the base so you can get creative with your play — surround the clit, tickle the tush, place on the peen, massage your prostate, wrap it around any pleasure center, or try out that nipple game we talked about earlier and see what dreams may come.
There are stainless steel, body-conscious shapes that provide coverage for all those nerve-endings inside and outside that will provide you with mind-bending, body-grinding ecstasy. There are plenty of multi-use vibrators with enough motor power to tame all your wild horses, and then some. Some are designed to contour to your body, clip into your underwear, or even be controlled from a distance by your partner, or a new beautiful stranger.
Lest we forget our O-inducing air stimulators! These little pockets of pleasure offer the kind of action that we can all agree hits the spot with a little suck. Guide the tip of this magical mystery maker to anywhere you want to feel the pull and let the gentle suction blow all your cares away.
Lube me up, hawty
A quick note on safety: For those post-op neo-vagina owners, if your new puss is made with digestive tissues, avoid lubes that contain carrageenan.
If there is one essential for any sexy tool kit, no matter what tool you have for having sex, you will need lube to help with glide the slide for motion in your ocean. For more on the ocean, we recommend opting for a lube that’s made with safety for your body and the planet in mind. Some are edible, paraben-free, and even vegan. With these kinds of options on the menu, you know you’ll find something to satisfy every thirst.
Looking for some great info about the best sex toys for trans men? Or maybe the best discreet sex toys for men and people with penises? Check out our linked blogs on those very topics!