There’s some sex stuff that movies and television make look hot AF but when you try it at home can end up a bit more WTF. Shower sex is one of those things. Media depictions are all about glistening wet bodies, steam, and tons of pleasure. Unfortunately in reality a lot of folks find that shower sex pretty easily becomes all about desperately trying to maintain your position without slipping, struggling to access the parts you want to stimulate and, frankly, — if you are not directly under the warm running water — getting very, very cold.
Does this mean we should throw in the towel on shower sex? I don’t think so. There really is something alluringly sensual about hot water and steam as well as seeing your sexy partner all naked and wet. Plus for people with children, roommates, or other family in the house, the shower can be one of the only places you can get some uninterrupted private time. I think what we really need is to find ways to make shower sex more doable.
Today we are going to talk about some dos, don’ts, and the best sex positions to help make shower sex the fun, erotica adventure it should be. We’ll talk about the things you want to incorporate, the things you want to leave out, and we might even change some minds about how amazing shower sex is “supposed to” work. So buckle up folks, it’s time to get a little wet and wild as we dive into shower sex.
Shower sex do’s and don’ts
There are things you want to think about to create the best, safest, sexiest, and most comfortable shower sex experience. None of this is super complicated so just take a moment to go over this list of dos and don’ts designed to help facilitate a satisfying shower sex experience.
Here are three things you want to do before you embark on a steamy shower encounter.
Do: Think beyond P-in-V
My first recommendation is actually one that comes up a lot in sex ed: let go of the idea that sex must involve penetrating a vagina (or butt) with a penis. Our bodies hold so much orgasmic potential and there are so many ways to access it, but often we act like it’s P-in-V intercourse or bust. This does us all a disservice. Your likelihood of having satisfying shower sex increases exponentially when you get a bit more open minded about what sex can be.
Do: Think about safety before you get sexy
Fun fact: wall mounted soap dishes and shower curtain rods are not designed to bear weight (they often fall down almost immediately), sliding glass shower doors don’t do well with being leaned on, and even grab bars installed for accessibility should be tested before you try to incorporate them into sexy time. Take stock of where you actually can safely grab, lean, or perch before anyone gets turned on.
Additionally, the shower floor can get super slippery. While they are not very sexy, those rubbery shower mats that are designed to keep people from slipping during showers can come in handy when you want to not slip while you get it on. Also, be open to Kama Sutra positions that include kneeling or sitting as those steamy shower sex positions can be far more stable.
Do: Get the shower clean before you get dirty
Hot take: mildew is not sexy. Same goes for soap scum, wads of old hair, rusting razors, and funky soap slivers that look like they came with the house. All of this is to say, set the mood for a sexy time by making sure your bathroom in general and your shower specifically feel clean and smell pleasant.
Next up are three fairly common shower sex faux pas that you definitely want to avoid.
Don’t: Forget about lube
Lube makes everything feel better and shower sex is no exception. However, there are some ways people get tripped up here. Some folks think that since the purpose of lube is to make things wet and since showers are already wet that means you won’t need to use lube. Let me be very very clear: water is not lube. It simply does not have the same ability to make penetration of any kind more comfortable because it does not reliably and consistently reduce friction.
Another thing to think about is that while water-based lubricants are awesome, they are also, you know, water-based. This means they will rinse off very easily in the shower so not only won’t you reap the benefits of using a lubricant to begin with, you will also just end up wasting lube. That’s why, for shower time, silicone lubricants are a much better bet. They don’t rinse off with water (you would need to use soap) and they last and last.
Finally, please remember that soap, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and other shower staples should not be used as lubricant. They simply are not meant to go inside the body. So, even though they are, please don’t try to sub them in for lube
Don’t: Try standing positions for the first time
When attempting shower sex, a lot of folks go for standing positions which, given the nature of showers, makes sense. The problem is, if you’re trying something for the first time, you probably shouldn’t be trying it under extra-challenging circumstances. This is why I advise folks to try out standing positions on dry land before attempting them in the shower. Figuring out weight distribution, balance, and rhythm outside of the shower will help you immensely when you add water (and all the slipperiness that comes with it) to the equation.
Don’t: Think you need to finish in the shower
As sexy as shower sex can be, after a while you might be getting cold, pruny and, frankly, tired. The longer that unpleasantness goes on the more you might feel pressure to finish it off with a bang. I’m here to tell you that you can, and probably should, get out and take your carnal adventures somewhere a bit more comfy. Also, let go of the idea that sex has to end in orgasm. Yes, orgasms are great but if everyone is feeling satisfied and ready to relax, go for it.
5 best shower sex positions
Here we have five steamy shower sex positions. Remember, before attempting any of the ones that involve standing or resting a foot somewhere besides the shower floor, do a safety check and try out the sex position outside the shower first
So, as we mentioned, standing position is the kind of a shower sex staple and that makes sense. With that in mind, not all standing positions require a ton of strength or dexterity. Standing doggy style is one of the easiest standing positions and it gives everyone the option to brace themselves for stability.
How to do it: The receiving partner stands in front of the penetrating partner, facing away from them. From there the receiving partner bends over while their partner penetrates them from behind. The receiving partner can brace themself using the wall, the edge of the tub, or even the floor while the penetrating partner can place a hand on the wall beside them for a little extra stability. Be aware of thrusting intensity as going too hard can knock the receiving partner out of balance.
If you want a taste of the excitement that comes from those standing positions where the living partner lifts the other off the ground but you want to keep it both easier and safer, this one’s for you!
How to do it: The penetrating partner stands with their feet a bit wider than hip-width apart and their knees slightly bent. The receiving partner wraps one leg around their partner’s waist. The penetrating partner can lend a hand (literally) by holding onto the receiver’s thigh from underneath.
Standing Oral Sex
In this position only one partner is standing which makes things a whole lot less precarious.
How to do it: The receiving partner stands with their legs fairly far apart while their giving partner kneels in front of them. For cunnilingus, the receiving partner might want to put one foot up on the edge of the tub for easier access.
I mentioned we’d be looking at some positions that involved sitting down completely and now is the time! In terms of both safety and satisfaction this popular position is a winner.
How to do it: The penetrating partner sits on the floor of the shower and the receiving partner straddles them in a position that is both comfortable and allows for penetration. I recommend setting this up so the receiving partner’s back is toward the shower head. This will allow you both to enjoy the warm water without getting hit in the face with it. Plus the receiving partner can lean back and treat their giving partner to a Flashdance-style show.
This position takes the one we just did and lets you, in the words of Missy Elliot “put [your] thang down, flip it and reverse it”. It comes with the safety benefits of Cowpoke but adds easy anal penetration as well as G-spot or prostate stimulation.
How to do it: The penetrating partner sits on the floor of the shower and the receiving partner straddles them with their back to their partner in a comfortable position that allows for vaginal or anal penetration.
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